Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Loves Me, Loves Me Not by Laura A. Smit, 2005, Baker Academic

The subtitle of this book is The Ethics of Unrequited Love,, which I thought was an interesting topic for a book. First, because nobody really talks about the topic within the Christian community, and second because that is pretty much the only kind of love I have had the privilege to know. I was therefore expecting a long discussion about how unrequited love arises, how to respond to it, and so forth. While these discussions do take place, there is a second aspect to the book that is somewhat radical.

Specifically, the author takes on the modern Protestant church for its "idolatry of the family," as evidenced by the fact that unmarried people are considered freaks at worst within the church, and harmless but odd at best. The author posits that New Testament teachings show that the unmarried life, which can be fully focused on God, rather than focused at least partially on a spouse, is the new standard for Christians. Jesus was unmarried. Paul was unmarried. Paul even wrote that he felt that being unmarried was a preferable state to being married, though he had nothing against marriage, per se. The author also notes that Jesus told the Pharisess that in heaven there will be no marriage. Therefore, the author posits that the modern church is in a time between the Old Testament times, when everyone was married for societal benefits, and the New Jerusalem times, when nobody will be married. Therefore, some of God's Children in this age will be called to marriage, but some will be called to be NOT married. Mainstream (and even fringe) Protestant and Evangelical churches don't take this approach, often seeing unmarried people as objects of pity or concern, rather than as independent adults of equal value in Christ's Kingdom.

Another aspect of this theory is that an unmarried Christian should consider their singleness to be their default state of existence, and if an opportunity for a romantic relationship arises, the relationship bears the burden of proof, and its pursuit needs to be justified. This is opposed to the general attitude of modern American culture, which posits that being in a relationship is the default condition, and if you choose to stay out of a romantic relationships you need to defend that position as being abnormal. I am with the author all the way on this aspect of her theory, as I have always felt this to be the proper way to approach life.

This is a very deep book, and will likely require a re-reading down the road to make sure that I am properly understanding it. I did find all of it useful, though, and I would recommend it to pretty much anyone in the modern Christian church, whether married or not, as this book is starting a debate that really needs to happen.

Events and Meetings

I have been busier than normal, lately. Specifically, I have had stuff going on in the evening almost every day this week, which his unusual for me. I don't think I had anything going on Monday night, but Tuesday night I had the annual homeowner's association meeting for my subdivision. I have never been in town to attend it before, so I figured I would head out and see what actually goes on at those meetings. Overall it wasn't a valuable use of my time, as it mainly consisted of old ladies complaining about how fast people drive or asking what restaurants are going in to the new development a few blocks away, but I did get to see one piece of actual action taken, as a decision was made to drop the speed limit on our street from 25 MPH to 20 MPH. This was also the first time I have ever darkened the door of my local library, where the meeting was held. You would think, being a book freak, that I would go to the library all the time, but I would rather buy them than rent them.

Yesterday evening I met with some guy who wants to set me up as an Independent Business Owner with this company called Quixtar. Think Amway with a website instead of a catalog, and selling food products and cosmetics instead of cleaning supplies, and you pretty much have the concept. I can sign up all my friends and make tons of money! We can all be independently wealthy in 2 to 5 years! I was hearing a lot of hyperbole, but I did sign up at the website as a customer, in case they have some products that are a good value at a good price. I figure, if they have good stuff, then I can buy some items and help out my friend who originally referred me. I don't think I'll be buying in to the company, though.

Tonight I will be gone pretty much all evening at the end-of-the-year party for the local Institute of Internal Auditors. Nobody throws a party like auditors, let me tell you. Last year we had an executive from the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team speak, and they gave away lots of Cardinals freebies. I won the old Busch Stadium retrospective book, which was really cool. I don't know what they will be giving away this year, but it should be some pretty good stuff. This year our speaker is the IIA president for the entire global organization, so it should be good to hear from him what his opinions are about auditing around the world, what the hot trends are, etc.

In other news, my car is acting funky. Specifically, the fan controller isn't activating right away like it should when I first turn on my car. It waits a seemingly random period of time before working. My father thinks it might be the relay for the fan controller, so this morning before driving to work I located the fuse box and jiggled the relay and the fuses, but it didn't take care of the problem. Hopefully it will hold together until the weekend, when I can spend some real time on it.

Long Weekend

I spent the end of last week in Washington, D.C. attending the LeadNow conference. I tried to write about it on Friday night, but for some reason Blogger kept deleting my text. Overall, it was a good event, and I learned a lot. I was there with the young adult pastor from my church to learn about doing ministry to Generation X and Y, and overall the conference didn't really cover that. It more covered focusing on missions and outreach into our community, which was a good thing, in my opinion.

While there, I took time to meet with a number of my old friends on Thursday night. A good time was had by all, though it definitely made for a late night and an early morning the next day. I am also proud to say that both of my flights were on time and experienced no problems, which is somewhat of a rarity for flights these days.

I also should point out that of the hundreds of participants at the conference, I was one of 10 winners of a complete pack (book, DVDs, leader's book, and 10 participant's books) of the study series Chasing Daylight. It is by Edwin McManus, who I have never heard of before, but it was free, so I will be checking out the book, at least. Not sure what I will do with an entire study kit, other than putting it in my basement.

Go East, Young Man

Early this evening I am getting on a plane for the first time in close to 3 months. I am flying out to the DC area to attend the Lead Now Conference at MacLean Bible Church with a pastor from my church. It is a short trip, about 3 days in total, but it will give me an opportunity to visit some friends and to bring myself up to speed on the latest thinking in young adult ministry. And, hey, even if it turns out to be a total waste of my time, I am using miles to score a (mostly) free ticket, so it isn't like I'm throwing tons of money down a hole. And it gets me away from work for a while, which will be nice, as well.

Another sign I am getting old

Luckily, the sign this time does not involve any part of my body breaking down due to over-use. I was reading the April issue of Fast Company last night, when I came across an article about the problems with updating the case file system at the FBI. I used to work for the U.S. GAO, so I have some insider knowledge about the unique struggles related to large-scale government computer systems, so I can really understand these articles. It has also been, as of yesterday, exactly 3 1/2 years since I did that work, so I appreciate the opportunity to bring myself a little bit up to date on things.

What struck me, though, was when my old boss, Randy Hite, was quoted in the article. This was the first time I have ever come across a magazine article that involved a discussion with the man who signed off on my performance evaluations. It was one of those "hey, I know that guy!" moments. I have read articles (and seen TV interviews) involving people that I knew from GAO, but never before my immediate boss. This is how I know that I have officially "been around awhile." I have yet to determine if this is a good thing or a bad thing.